How should I approach this young Polish man that I like?

PennBoyThreads: 157 Posts: 3,443 Joined: Dec 7, 08 ♂	Nov 7, 10, 05:46 #31
Spaniel: How should I approach this young Polish man that I like? tell him you wanna have his babies

Mr GrunwaldThreads: 34 Posts: 2,358 Joined: Dec 16, 08 ♂	Nov 7, 10, 05:59 #32
PennBoy: tell him you wanna have his babies you mean have babies WITH him? Otherwise it's just confusing

♂

Edited by: skysoulmate Nov 7, 10, 07:41 #33

Spaniel:

trener zolwia:
how are things between you and your Polish boy?
Incredible. :)
Seriously, I have never felt like this. He's the most amazing person I've ever known. I couldn't be happier (and according to him, neither could he!). And the accent...

As for asking a guy out, certainly, it's not something I would ever want to do; and to be honest, if I was a guy, I'd feel the same as you -- I would find it a bit of a turn-off if a girl was that forward with me.

Turn off? Why? Isn't this the 21st century or am I all confused? My ex-wife proposed to me, that's right, she did, and we had some wonderful times together. She's my ex for totally unrelated reasons, primarily my job, but yes, I understand women often like to be wooed and to be made feel special. Totally agree, I made her feel very special on many occasions. However, there's nothing wrong with a woman taking the initiative whether when it comes to the dating etiquette, the daily life or in bed.

Good luck to you with your Polish men.

trener zolwiaThreads: 5 Posts: 2,786 Joined: Jun 8, 10 ♂	Nov 7, 10, 19:53 #34
skysoulmate: there's nothing wrong with a woman taking the initiative whether when it comes to the dating etiquette, Maybe I'm just old-fashioned... and I prefer old-fashioned ladies.

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Nov 9, 10, 10:01 #35

trener zolwia:

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned... and I prefer old-fashioned ladies.

Well, believe it or not I too am pretty old fashioned; I'd always open the door for my lady and would pull out the chair for her in a restaurant, I always tried to treat her like a lady because she deserved it. (of course, I'm divorced so obviously I must have screwed up :)

I too prefer "old-fashioned" ladies as you described it but don't get turned off if they aren't. It's ok if a lady is more direct, or somewhat aggressive in her "wants". After all, it's all about making the other person feel special and if that's what she wants then that's what she gets. If she likes to be in charge every now and then - go at it. I have plenty of things in my life I'm in charge of, it's nice to let it go sometimes. Just my ₩on on the subject.

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Edited by: trener zolwia Nov 9, 10, 18:22 #36

skysoulmate:

I have plenty of things in my life I'm in charge of, it's nice to let it go sometimes.

That's cool.

Another thing I find problematic about girls asking guys out is that she won't know how he really feels about her. How many guys are going to turn down a nice girl who asks him out? Many would just go along with it hoping for an easy score. And how often do we see girls complaining about guys that are players and users and not knowing how they really feel? Just asking for trouble... adds to the problem...

guesswhoThreads: 23 Posts: 3,326 Joined: Mar 17, 10 ♀	Nov 9, 10, 18:25 #37
trener zolwia: How many guys are going to turn down a nice girl who asks him out? I know a few of them on this forum. Otherwise why do you think we have so many pro gays posters here. (that wasn't very liberal, sorry).

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Edited by: skysoulmate Nov 10, 10, 07:58 #38

trener zolwia:

Another thing I find problematic about girls asking guys out is that she won't know how he really feels about her. How many guys are going to turn down a nice girl who asks him out? Many would just go along with it hoping for an easy score. And how often do we see girls complaining about guys that are players and users and not knowing how they really feel? Just asking for trouble... adds to the problem...

I often agree with you when it comes to the political landscape discourses but if men and women truly are as shallow as you just described them then I've lost all hope...

You see, I am old fashioned or maybe i simply believe in having good manners because that's how I was raised but I also believe that deep inside men and women are more alike than you think; it boils down to looking for happiness and to dealing with our own insecurities, because we all have them.

If two people go on a date then there's an interest there of some kind, maybe it's on a deeper level or maybe it's not but to worry about who asked whom out is just silly, at least in my view it is.

Love is complicated enough, if it feels right "take a chance on me/her/him" (who sang that? ;) because you never know what the future might bring.

The pic is totally off the subject, just cute lol

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Edited by: skysoulmate Nov 10, 10, 08:21 #39

guesswho:

I know a few of them on this forum. Otherwise why do you think we have so many pro gays posters here. (that wasn't very liberal, sorry).

I'm slightly confused about the pro gay comment. Never understood homophobes, I really don't get it. In my view the more guys are gay the less competition for me. Of course, if all women were to become lesbians I'd be very sad. ...unless they'd let me join in... LOL

Just kidding, sort of. My main point was that I don't understand why some guys won't go out with girls who ask them out (if they're single and interested that is), nor do I understand why some ladies won't bring themselves to ask the guys they like out for dinner or something similar. So very passé in my opinion.

♀

Edited by: Softsong Nov 10, 10, 08:31 #40

It is very passe.....and in the intellect, it works out fine. But, for most men, they still have the biology that says they need to be the pursuer. Even if the mind says different. Many great relationships do begin that way. But, many more men only think they want it that way. Somehow, they later on wonder why they are not as attracted to the girl as they would like to be.

It takes a special man to recognize a good thing when put on a platter. Most like to believe they caught her. Wish there were more like you...enlightened....biology caught up with intellect.

♀

Edited by: PlasticPole Nov 10, 10, 16:11 #41

Spaniel:

About six weeks ago, I met a young Polish man at work (well, he works there, I just volunteer), and we've become good friends.

I really like him, and he sort of seems like he likes me, and so I'm wondering -- would it seem forward of me to ask him out? I don't want him to think I'm pushy.

Also -- I'm NOT trying to generalise, I would just like to know how that would seem to a Pole. Most English men I've known would be happy for a girl to take her clothes off before she tells them her name, but in my experience, continental Europeans tend to have a bit more class. I just really don't want to scare this guy away.

Basically, if he hasn't made a move in six weeks, is it likely that he's not interested in me that way and should I just let it go? OR could he be waiting for a bit more encouragement from me?

Thanks.

I just watched a show with two people who took a class on how to date. What the instructor did was have them write their phone number and name on two small pieces of paper. Then, they had to go to a grocery store and hand them to two people they were interested in. They didn't have to say anything, just hand the paper with their names and numbers out. Of course, they could say something if they wanted to. You could do the same thing with this dude. You can write your name, number and words "call me sometime" and hand it to him. If he doesn't call, he isn't interested.

monika87Threads: - Posts: 77 Joined: Aug 26, 10 ♀	Nov 10, 10, 18:00 #42
Spaniel: Most English men I've known would be happy for a girl to take her clothes off before she tells them her name, but in my experience, continental Europeans tend to have a bit more class. I just really don't want to scare this guy away. Yes we definitely have more class.

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Nov 10, 10, 18:17 #43

PlasticPole:

I just watched a show with two people who took a class on how to date. What the instructor did was have them write their phone number and name on two small pieces of paper. Then, they had to go to a grocery store and hand them to two people they were interested in. They didn't have to say anything, just hand the paper with their names and numbers out. Of course, they could say something if they wanted to. You could do the same thing with this dude. You can write your name, number and words "call me sometime" and hand it to him. If he doesn't call, he isn't interested.

Are you going to try this approach, PP?

♂

Edited by: skysoulmate Nov 12, 10, 05:38 #44

Softsong:

It is very passe.....and in the intellect, it works out fine. But, for most men, they still have the biology that says they need to be the pursuer. Even if the mind says different. Many great relationships do begin that way. But, many more men only think they want it that way. Somehow, they later on wonder why they are not as attracted to the girl as they would like to be.

It takes a special man to recognize a good thing when put on a platter. Most like to believe they caught her. Wish there were more like you...enlightened....biology caught up with intellect.

You're probably right. I'd imagine the same applies to women where many often end up with abusive men over and over again because they're attracted to certain physical attributes and/or aggressiveness. Almost as if some of us are biologically doomed to fail by default??

"...Wish there were more like you...enlightened....biology caught up with intellect...

Thank you for the nice compliment, I appreciate it. With your permission maybe I'll use it one day when I'm ready to date again. I'll make it part of my profile at takeachanceonme.com "Hi, I'm sky and I've evolved!!" ;)

Of course the only dating sites where women might be attracted to those atrributes would be dates4dorks.com or maybe UltraDesperateFormerHousewives.not LOL

Yeah, the complexities of men-women dating rules of engagement never cease to amaze me.

A JThreads: 19 Posts: 4,639 Joined: May 21, 10 ♂	Nov 12, 10, 06:15 #45
Spaniel: I really like him, and he sort of seems like he likes me, and so I'm wondering -- Stop wondering? Spaniel: would it seem forward of me to ask him out? No. Why would that seem forward? Would it seem forward of him to ask you out? Spaniel: I don't want him to think I'm pushy. It's okay to be pushy, really. Just be pushy in a gentle way. (Because he sounds a bit like the shy type!) ;)

♂

Edited by: trener zolwia Nov 12, 10, 22:13 #46

skysoulmate:

women where many often end up with abusive men over and over again because they're attracted to certain physical attributes and/or aggressiveness. Almost as if some of us are biologically doomed to fail by default??

Crazy, innit? Their biological propensities doom them?

skysoulmate:

the complexities of men-women dating rules of engagement never cease to amaze me.

Difficult stuff, that wading through the dating world.

skysoulmate:

I don't understand why some guys won't go out with girls who ask them out (if they're single and interested that is),

It has been my personal experience that such girls are needy. And I am not interested in needy girls. Of course, if it were a girl I was very interested in, I might not mind her asking me out. But, she'd just be beating me to it.
But then, I am speaking as a single someone who hasn't gotten it right yet. :s...

Softsong:

It is very passe.....and in the intellect, it works out fine. But, for most men, they still have the biology that says they need to be the pursuer. Even if the mind says different. Many great relationships do begin that way. But, many more men only think they want it that way. Somehow, they later on wonder why they are not as attracted to the girl as they would like to be.
It takes a special man to recognize a good thing when put on a platter. Most like to believe they caught her. Wish there were more like you...enlightened....biology caught up with intellect.

That biological need to be the pursuer shouldn't be discounted anymore than the biological need of girls who repeatedly pick brutish jerks. Peeps can't help how they feel.

♂

Edited by: skysoulmate Nov 13, 10, 09:54 #47

trener zolwia:

skysoulmate:
women where many often end up with abusive men over and over again because they're attracted to certain physical attributes and/or aggressiveness. Almost as if some of us are biologically doomed to fail by default??

Crazy, innit? Their biological propensities doom them?

Well, reread what I actually said -> "some of us" meaning men AND women. My point being that we're more alike than we are different. Men and women obviously are much different but deep inside it's all about happiness, we all want it. Remember that there are bad men and there are bad women, hopefully we'll run into the good ones. :)

I think that overall you and I share many values when it comes to the political theater, government issues, the political correctness, etc. However, I think you prefer a much more direct, in-your-face approach if you will to sharing your ideas. It's black and white for you whereas I see many shades of gray.

Nothing wrong with either approach but I believe a more compassionate, a more understanding way of sharing a person's values might be more effective. That's just my take on it.

trener zolwiaThreads: 5 Posts: 2,786 Joined: Jun 8, 10 ♂	Nov 13, 10, 18:01 #48
skysoulmate: However, I think you prefer a much more direct, in-your-face approach if you will to sharing your ideas. It's black and white for you whereas I see many shades of gray. Not about me. Aren't we all here expressing our views and opinions?

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