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Such a Very Sad Loss..please read me....


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Barr_2009Threads: 1
Posts: 280
Joined: Oct 11, 09 ♂ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:33    #31
Brave women? Possibly, I don't know? Are English and German women braver than Polish? ;) anyway you know me so well, heh. I'm giving my Polish friend time, and trying to stay friends with her. We aren't interested in eachother in another way, so hopefully that means we can stay friends easily. She's a nice woman. I only focus on negatives, because we as emotional human beings focus on what pains us, and it was relevant to the thread. I didn't say it IS a Polish 'thing', infact I've been 'hypothesising' that these occurances were indeed just coincidences... ;)
pgtxThreads: 49
Posts: 6,327
Joined: Feb 14, 09  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:33    #32
wildrover:
Most of my ex girlfriends...are still my friends...

Paulina:
And so is my ex-boyfriend.

stop bsing people... that's not friendship anymore...
wildroverThreads: 180
Posts: 8,188
Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:36    #33
pgtx:
stop bsing people...


nie rozumiem...?
pgtxThreads: 49
Posts: 6,327
Joined: Feb 14, 09  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:37    #34
wildrover:
nie rozumiem...?

it's nor friendship in its full meaning... you use empty words...
wildroverThreads: 180
Posts: 8,188
Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:41    #35
i know what friendship is....and i still say...most of my ex girlfriends are still my friends....
PaulinaThreads: 2
Posts: 561
Joined: Jan 31, 08 ♀ 		Edited by: Paulina  Nov 2, 10, 21:42    #36
Barr_2009:
I only focus on negatives, because we as emotional human beings focus on what pains us, and it was relevant to the thread.

I think you just like to whine :)

Barr_2009:
I didn't say it IS a Polish 'thing',

You were implying it in a very obvious manner, sorry.

Barr_2009:
infact I've been 'hypothesising' that these occurances were indeed just coincidences... ;)

Now you're just lying.

pgtx:
stop bsing people...

I'm not bsing, it's just the way I see it...

pgtx:
that's not friendship anymore...

Then what? He knows way too much about me to call it just "znajomość"... And we didn't stop talking...
We still care about each other in a way. Not in the way we used to, as a couple, of course, but still... :)
pgtxThreads: 49
Posts: 6,327
Joined: Feb 14, 09  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:46    #37
Paulina:
He knows way too much about me to call it just "znajomość"...

my knowledge that you, for example, pee your pants now and then, doesn't make us friends...
PaulinaThreads: 2
Posts: 561
Joined: Jan 31, 08 ♀ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:51    #38
pgtx:
my knowledge that you, for example, pee your pants now and then, doesn't make us friends...

And if we care about each other, share our problems and joy, give advice, help each other, comfort and talk from time to time about everything and nothing - does this make us friends?
pgtxThreads: 49
Posts: 6,327
Joined: Feb 14, 09  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:53    #39
Paulina:
And if we care about each other, share our problems and joy, give advice, help each other, comfort and talk from time to time about everything and nothing - does this make us friends?

maybe it does, but it's hard to believe it happens :)
dtaylor5632Threads: 49
Posts: 4,459
Joined: May 2, 09  Pictures: 3 ♂ 		 Nov 2, 10, 21:58    #40
Paulina:
And if we care about each other, share our problems and joy, give advice, help each other, comfort and talk from time to time about everything and nothing - does this make us friends?

No, it probably means he wants in ur knickers :/
PaulinaThreads: 2
Posts: 561
Joined: Jan 31, 08 ♀ 		Edited by: Paulina  Nov 2, 10, 21:58    #41
pgtx:
maybe it does, but it's hard to believe it happens :)

Well, it was awkward at the beginning, believe me... ;) But somehow we got through this stage, I guess ;)

dtaylor5632:
No, it probably means he wants in ur knickers :/

But... :/
dtaylor5632Threads: 49
Posts: 4,459
Joined: May 2, 09  Pictures: 3 ♂ 		 Nov 2, 10, 22:00    #42
Paulina:
But... :/

No but, I dunno, maybe ask him...
pgtxThreads: 49
Posts: 6,327
Joined: Feb 14, 09  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		Edited by: pgtx  Nov 2, 10, 22:03    #43
Paulina:
But somehow we got through this stage

"this stage" will last untill the both of you find a boyfriend and a girlfriend... i assume you both are single...

Paulina:
But... :/

yes, guys are that simple...
FlaglessPoleThreads: 7
Posts: 1,394
Joined: Aug 19, 10 ♂ 		 Nov 2, 10, 22:28    #44
pgtx:
my knowledge that you, for example, pee your pants now and then, doesn't make us friends...

Hardly any knowledge worth knowing if you'd like be friends with someone and the first impression hypothetically still counted, but come to think of it I could use that as leverage, should I feel like blackmailing someone into friendship ;)

pgtx:
it's nor friendship in its full meaning... you use empty words...

I admit that being good friends with your ex, no hidden agenda on either side, may not be a frequent occurrence but it does exist. Yeah just this week I had a friendly chat with my ex and she is a Bigfoot...
wildroverThreads: 180
Posts: 8,188
Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂ 		 Nov 2, 10, 22:44    #45
pgtx:
this stage" will last untill the both of you find a boyfriend and a girlfriend... i assume you both are single...


One of my ex girlfriends , a very special lady i will love forever was happy to welcome me at her place , along with my new girlfriend...no problems...

And she would be quite welcome at my place with her new man...

I agree its rare to stay such good friends...especially if you had hurt each other in the past...but it is possible....
edelweiss  Nov 3, 10, 00:50    #46
Thank you for all your replies,I have just got back to this site as I have been doing as you suggested just keeping busy with work in the garden. Even with both wrist's not good I feel much better because I have achieved work which I felt I was unable to do.
Tommorow I am going to re-home a dog ;)) and have to take a Long Drive to do this so I will have much to do once he get's here. I will post a picture of him when I can.
I should say in reference to an earlier post regarding my Mother losing her fight to Live. It was possibly an error to say that the Brain Tumor took her soul & ultimately her Life ,however to see your Mother for 21 Month's deteriorate to such an extent that her Body was like an Empty Shell with her Eye's slowly day by day losing the Life in them to ultimately the Last 28 day's being given just water which was impossible for her to swallow felt for me that everything was slipping away.
On a Lighter note,I'm fine although still obviously sad re:my Mother & dissapointed concerning what happened for me Initially to place my post however your reply's have been very nice to read and Once again I thank you all. I would like to give a special Thank you too patrycja19 as your post made alot of sense to me and I felt it.
best wishes all ;))
Patrycja19Threads: 79
Posts: 3,974
Joined: Oct 31, 06  Pictures: 1 ♀ 		 Nov 3, 10, 05:44    #47
edelweiss:
as your post made alot of sense to me and I felt it.
best wishes all ;))


awww thank you.. I am so glad. :)

Hugs back to you, take care :)
skysoulmateThreads: 41
Posts: 3,039
Joined: Jan 10, 10 ♂ 		 Nov 3, 10, 06:34    #48
edelweiss:
a special Thank you too patrycja19



She's our "counselor extraordinaire" -> Patrycja for President! :)


Sorry about your loss and hope you'll find peace and hope in your life very soon.
MountainMan777Threads: -
Posts: 14
Joined: Nov 3, 10 ♂ 		Edited by: MountainMan777  Nov 3, 10, 10:10    #49
A good wife is there til the end. Til death do us part, the marriage vows say, although few listen to them anymore. It doesn't sound like she was there for you in our darkest hour. The fact she punched you in the face, well lets just say, that is wrong. I don't believe in hitting women, but if a woman punches me in the face, I will punch her right back. Old saying here in USA, "You act like a man, you get treated as a man." Sorry, there is a crossing-line. You know, I think I have heard a story just like this before, almost exact same story. Have you wrote about this before somewhere else? LOL

Sorry for your horrible loss. The woman sounds cold and inconsiderate. Maybe she wanted a playmate and forgot that marriage is a commitment that goes through many challenges. That is what makes marriage special. People are suppose to be there for each other in the end. I read your story briefly; I hope I got everything correct. This is very heart-breaking. Go find yourself a woman who is caring and compassionate.

You are in my prayers.. Wholeheartedly.
Barr_2009Threads: 1
Posts: 280
Joined: Oct 11, 09 ♂ 		 Nov 3, 10, 19:50    #50
So, chefneedshelp and Edelweiss, did the women speak to you again as yet?
edelweiss  Nov 19, 10, 13:26    #51
hi Barr' ,apologies late reply. In short yes we established contact again albeit 5 days,she came back to my home and stayed 2 day's but we split after her Lying and my Trust shattered. I am Hurt by what has happened in the way that it happened alas time passes and so will the Loss. And please forgive me for my next wording but after 2 very painful experiences from 2 separate ladys of different age's it is quite possible that the communication was not understood and if that is why the Lying and Cheating occured although I wear my heart on my Sleeve then so be it. It is something I accept although Not Understand as I also not understand when folk would say "Treat em' Mean/Keep em' Keen" asI have said I wear my Heart on my Sleeve and I have been made by creation to be open and honest with someone whom is close to my heart when that honesty has been broken sure it break's your Heart ..But...It will Not Break my Spirit.
I am in the process of Selling everything which I Own (including a Vast Collection of WKII militaria inc' Truck) and I hope to with just my dog to drive to a Country that is very dear to me and try to re-start my life as the Loss of my Mother at such a young age due to the Damned Cancer (Tumor) has left me with Little keeping me here in England.
I have been offered Space on a Floor in a WorkShop and it will have to do until I can pick some piece's up,Yes it is Winter and will be Cold on the European Continent however my Spirit give's me Strength to Carry on.
Barr_2009Threads: 1
Posts: 280
Joined: Oct 11, 09 ♂ 		Edited by: Barr_2009  Nov 19, 10, 19:39    #52
Interesting, I worry I will lose my mother before I'm too old, I already lost my dad. It's a horrible thought isn't it? So it's all finished now, and she has stopped talking? You sound a bit like me, my last two significant experiences with women both left me feeling dead inside. There were infact both Polish or? Wish you the best anyway, where will you drive to? So this experience has meant you're struggling financially and need to sell things? WWII militaria you say? I have some things left from my dad, who fought in WWII. Very interesting, such as a cloth tag which he had to wear in the Japanese prisoner of war camp he was in, with Japanese writing and the number 14. A letter from the King that was sent at the end of the war. Really incredible stuff, love history.
Patrycja19Threads: 79
Posts: 3,974
Joined: Oct 31, 06  Pictures: 1 ♀ 		 Nov 20, 10, 02:49    #53
edelweiss:
and I hope to with just my dog to drive to a Country that is very dear to me and try to re-start my life


you are doing something that isnt possible for many, restarting your life,, but dont have
regrets, keep what you did special in your heart.. its ok to have loved. we have different
loves in our lives, some which we cant possibly understand, and why we do what we do.

its amazing how easily those who dont understand the types of people, in your mind you
dont feel strong, but really you are. a strong individual takes chances in life and goes far
and you need to take in the beauty of everything else around you to heal from the heart
ache.. realize that theres so much more out there.

you mum will be proud of you, she will keep a good watch over you.. just because they
leave this earth physically doesnt mean they arent around you spiritually.

edelweiss:
when folk would say "Treat em' Mean/Keep em' Keen"


this is so wrong, yes, so very wrong.. its like a domino effect, and sometimes people
are attracted to the " bad" image, which is sometimes mistaken for strong willed.
and sometimes people say, well I ignored them and yeah, she is wondering, or he is
wondering, then someone feels neglected and they cheat.. its over and over and over
and the nice guys, gals who are hoping to meet someone who has the same interests
same likes, dislikes, they find them, cause the person they found is one of the
" Strong willed " who lie from beginning till end, on a daily basis of what, who and how.

its never ending cycle, so they move on to the next, which misuses anothers trust and
it goes on and on and on and on.. back and forth ... pretty soon you have alot of bitter
people out to have a good time and use people..

Thats why I said dont fall into this, I suspect you wont, but dont fall so fast next time
heal first.. yes, be content with yourself is the only way I can put it.

and for petes sake will ya join the forum already?? LOL
frdThreads: 8
Posts: 1,956
Joined: Feb 3, 09 ♂ 		 Nov 20, 10, 03:50    #54
so much text, so little time ; o
I agree with the op
Lodz_The_BoatThreads: 58
Posts: 2,314
Joined: Sep 7, 08 ♂ 		 Nov 20, 10, 09:54    #55
edelweiss:
Love at my Loss

I find you story a sad one. I wish you to find solace...

But you separated from your English wife with a daughter who was 1 yrs old? ... Then you came to live with a Polish girl? ...

Polish women usually would like to be with a man fresh into a new relationship with her ... I feel this is atleast the case with those girls in the less urbanized parts of Poland. When these girls reach UK, either they turn crazy or wish to find her dream fulfilled somewhere outside her country.

She can be with you for the time being due to financial reasons ... but later on look forward to fulfill her wishes, which perhaps cannot be fulfilled by you.

As sad as it may sound ... concentrate on your daughter, and she is probably the only person who can give you love (as of fatherly love).

Good luck.
Ashleys mindThreads: 7
Posts: 1,346
Joined: Nov 2, 10 ♀ 		 Nov 20, 10, 11:53    #56
edelweiss:
On a Lighter note,I'm fine although still obviously sad re:my Mother & dissapointed concerning what happened for me Initially to place my post however your reply's have been very nice to read and Once again I thank you all. I would like to give a special Thank you too patrycja19 as your post made alot of sense to me and I felt it.



All endings have new beginnings.

I recently changed everything in my life, and I used a separation to do this. It always helps returning to familiar surroundings, and there is no better company than a dog...;)

People can be harsh and cruel but we really don't understand their intentions. Being alone is sometimes a better comfort and you will find creative ways to heal. Pain helps you find god, I really believe this. We are better off having experienced loss, better at understanding it and better at finding ways to cope, cause eventually we can at any time lose those external things...

Try to laugh. It really is the best way of coming through to the other side. You are part of a community of human beings just trying to make it through each day. You are blessed to be alive, there is no shame in your pain.

Take care.

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