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12 years of marriage she still doubts me

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posts: 74

♂

Edited by: Moderator Mar 18, 11, 12:51 #1

This is weird, its 14 relationship and 12 years now tht we got married with 2 children now and she still doubts me. WHY?? I'm tired, but i love her too.
Anyone faced such a thing with a polish wife? she was beautiful, still if for me the only girl but hey every few weeks later there is an issue for doubt!!!
She come frm a religious home so our marriage went through many tough times specially wth her parents. Neither converted, had no problem, love still there, doubt along with it. I'm a gud, never went loose as she is my first girl anyway as my culture is just like that. Not too religious myself, believe in god, gave her freedom to practice, no complains there.
The greatest doubt "you don't love me, i know it" and then the hour pass in explanation. Unless i listen to all she says, i dont love her! what about my own mind? children are great, i tried to pass some of my values in them, my daughter will be sweeter.
My wife is sweet, love her more, but how to handle her doubt? WHY SHE DOUBT ME? excessive since last 2 years. we make love often, but when we dont, she will doubt.
Recently she asked about her figure and kept asking, i said she got weight on legs for first time. If i just praise she says i am a lier and never honest! but this truth costed me 3 days of miserable begging to talk again, as she said i hurt her, or i dont love.
Today after coming frm work i forgot to kiss, now she dont allow me. i got home early expecting a nice time, but there we go.

HELP ... SOME ONE ... ANY ONE ... HOW TO CURE THIS? BIG PROBLEM IN MY WIFE (POLISH). Married her as a student in krakow, since then staying in poland. nothing wrong but DOUBTS

JonnyMThreads: 16 Posts: 4,487 Joined: Mar 9, 11 ♂	Edited by: JonnyM Mar 18, 11, 12:58 #2
That's love for you. Sounds like you've got a good one! A lucky man.

panienkaThreads: 2 Posts: 215 Joined: Mar 4, 08 ♀	Mar 18, 11, 13:17 #3
zahi: she was beautiful if this is how you appreciate her now, i'm with her..............

zahiThreads: 1 Posts: 17 Joined: Mar 18, 11 ♂	Mar 18, 11, 13:19 #4
panienka: this is how you appreciate her i said still is :( was and is, will always. how to deal with so much doubt, how to cure this gods sake aahh, i can sense my time doomed today :(

panienkaThreads: 2 Posts: 215 Joined: Mar 4, 08 ♀	Mar 18, 11, 13:28 #5
so maybe you have fallen in a boring routine and she needs some more effort from you, try do to something surprising and very pleasant for her just because, show her that you love her and are crazy about her not only by saying all the time the same things but by doing something what you were doing as a student when trying to conquer her

zahiThreads: 1 Posts: 17 Joined: Mar 18, 11 ♂	Edited by: zahi Mar 18, 11, 14:01 #6
A student is not father of 2 working the ass out wth financial docs to earn one living.

panienkaThreads: 2 Posts: 215 Joined: Mar 4, 08 ♀	Mar 18, 11, 14:15 #7
and is this making a difference to your love? if so she's right, and if not, you would be able to find a moment once a month to do sth what you normally don't do to please her without spending a dollar

OlafThreads: 8 Posts: 1,369 Joined: Oct 29, 09 ♂	Edited by: Moderator Mar 18, 11, 14:21 #8
zahi: HELP ... SOME ONE ... ANY ONE ... HOW TO CURE THIS? BIG PROBLEM IN MY WIFE (POLISH). Married her as a student in krakow, since then staying in poland. nothing wrong but DOUBTS :( I am not a doctor but I can tell you are in pain.

♂

Edited by: zahi Mar 18, 11, 14:40 #9

panienka:

if not

I LOVE HER :(

panienka:

without spending a dollar

it is not abt money arrgh, not MONEY!
student time is different, first love, first girl, different look, flowers, struggle!
I love her much :( always.
Todays situation is tht i cannot get straight message of her reason, but only angry face, "zahi it is OK" mode :(, worst mode ! aahh! will not talk straight :( , whole hours of struggle, not days if lucky :(. WHYYYYYYYY :(
Sometimes work makes most deep lovers forget perfect timing.
You think i dont do special things? still give flowers, still go out but not as frequently. make love but then she is ok, just a few days or week of tough work and she will DOUBTTTTTTTT , doubt ME! i never LOOK AT ANY GIRL BUT HER :( ahhhhahhhhhh.
I came home thinkin to sit, drink coffee wth her, talk with son and daughter, typical relaxation. Cud plan a date wth her YES I STILL TAKE HER OUT!
she keep doubting on and off, now "ZAHI IT IS OKKKKKK" aaaahhhhh :( ya sure your attitude tells me how OK it is. I dont forget, only first time since more than 1 year now. CAN HAPPEN, FEW HOUR LATE CAN HAPPEN!
Later on other topics, i need to listen, accept accusation, be better husband, BUT EVEN NOW WHAT IS WRONG IN ME? I LOVE HER I WILL ALWAYS, SO WHY DOUBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT WHY WHY WHY? EVENING GONE.

HOW MEN MARRIED TO POLISH HANDLE THIS? ANYONEEEEEEEE , ANYONE WHO WON ??? I NEVER WIN :(

aphrodisiacThreads: 22 Posts: 3,998 Joined: Apr 15, 09 ♀	Mar 18, 11, 14:46 #10
maybe she is having an affair?

zahiThreads: 1 Posts: 17 Joined: Mar 18, 11 ♂	Mar 18, 11, 14:50 #11
WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???????? we love each other have 2 kids , i trust her. Why u say this?

aphrodisiacThreads: 22 Posts: 3,998 Joined: Apr 15, 09 ♀	Edited by: aphrodisiac Mar 18, 11, 14:52 #12
zahi: Why u say this? if she is picking on you, she might be doing this because she feels guilty about the affair. Happens all the time. I am not saying she does, but she might.

OlafThreads: 8 Posts: 1,369 Joined: Oct 29, 09 ♂	Edited by: Olaf Mar 18, 11, 15:00 #13
zahi: WHY DOUBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT WHY WHY WHY? EVENING GONE. zahi: DOUBTTTTTTTT zahi: ANYONEEEEEEEE Dude, seriously, you're either too EMOtional or you got Parkinson's. Two totally different things but same symptom here.

♂

Edited by: zahi Mar 18, 11, 15:00 #14

aphrodisiac:

I am not saying she does, but she might.

I have 2 kids, I LOVE HER :(
We love each other i can leave the job find new if she need more time.
I got my home wth enough money to live.
We must talk but it is not true she love me only i know it. We came from struggle to be here, deep deep love.
She is sensitive. When she went wth me to my country she was sensitive there too.
I know her whom i love and married.
I just need to hug and talk more open and all will be clear. thanks

***
i know one reason though , called CONTROL ON HUSBAND. Polish trait. She love when i listen, agree, then rephrase to make it sound as my idea , her wish is my idea, she is the happiest woman then.

zahi:

EMOtional or you got Parkinson's.

former.

Lodz_The_BoatThreads: 58 Posts: 2,314 Joined: Sep 7, 08 ♂	Mar 18, 11, 16:41 #15
Its always better that you talk with her on this matter.

CrowThreads: 367 Posts: 7,316 Joined: Feb 14, 07 ♂ [Suspended]	Edited by: Crow Mar 18, 11, 16:45 #16
she doubts you? you can`t imagine what is she capable to do after 12 years of marriage

♂

Mar 18, 11, 16:50 #17

12 years of marriage is a nice time covered I think. The couple should love forward in a much more healthy manner.

zahi:

CONTROL ON HUSBAND.

My wife doesn't have any such intentions, but she is not Polish :). Polish women often seem to fight for control on their man. I mean, I would know as I'm a Pole. However, I would say that sometimes it is just out of love, a very strange way of loving indeed.

zahi:

i can leave the job find new if she need more time.

Talk with her about it.

Plus, make it a long discussion, and not just to please her as you might just do instead.

Crow:

you can`t imagine what is she capable to do after 12 years of marriage

What's that? Trying to give the guy a heart attack or what?

andrewwrightThreads: 18 Posts: 113 Joined: Dec 27, 08 ♂	Mar 18, 11, 16:56 #18
Get rid off her....SIMPLE

♂

Mar 18, 11, 17:52 #19

Lodz_The_Boat:

Its always better that you talk with her on this matter.

I did its over she is cool now, she enjoy my work to win her, difficult job this :(

Crow:

you can`t imagine what is she capable to do after 12 years of marriage

what do u mean????

Lodz_The_Boat:

but she is not Polish

from where?
Im not polish.

andrewwright:

Get rid off her..

never :)
love her.
Need to give time, talk AND VACATION.
Talk more tonight.

BBmanThreads: - Posts: 459 Joined: Jan 4, 11 ♂	Mar 18, 11, 18:26 #20
Zahi are you from outside of europe originally?

andrewwrightThreads: 18 Posts: 113 Joined: Dec 27, 08 ♂	Mar 18, 11, 18:27 #21
I Take it u need a passport for Europe,

In WarsawThreads: 2 Posts: 90 Joined: Mar 7, 11 ♂	Mar 18, 11, 18:57 #22
andrewwright: I Take it u need a passport for Europe, As he's been in Poland for 12 years, he's almost certainly got Polish citizenship and so has an Polish ID card. So, no he does not need a passport for Europe, he can just use his Polish ID card.

enkiduThreads: 18 Posts: 983 Joined: Sep 23, 08 ♂	Mar 18, 11, 19:11 #23
Poor, poor guy. I am Polish myself, and I would love to help you. But I'm afraid it's pointless. If you didn't understand the nature of Polish (especially Polish women) in 12 years of your marriage - you wouldn't understand it now. On the PF. And probably - you wouldn't like my answers... Keep calm, good man. Be like ice.

Patrycja19Threads: 79 Posts: 3,974 Joined: Oct 31, 06 ♀	Mar 18, 11, 22:02 #24
Zahi, have you ever given her reason to doubt you in any way? maybe you were out with some friends, maybe some other girl was giving you the eye and she seen how you reacted ?

♂

Mar 19, 11, 00:18 #25

BBman:

Zahi are you from outside of europe originally?

yes

andrewwright:

I Take it u need a passport for Europe

old story make new one stupid

enkidu:

If you didn't understand the nature of Polish (especially Polish women) in 12 years of your marriage - you wouldn't understand it now.

i did i did but just the forum i found make it easier to unload now.

enkidu:

Be like ice.

i know i know she is normal now

Patrycja19:

have you ever given her reason to doubt you in any way?

not that i know

Patrycja19:

were out with some friends, maybe some other girl was giving you the eye and she
seen how you reacted ?

which girl? which friend? no such friend my nature not loose, all friends know the family and i dont party anyway. Family man.
RIGHT NOW can see happy face when i kiss hug and spend hour sweet explanation. Called CONTROL this. Need to listen accept 24.7 all she say and often nod to rephrase to make it look my decision. Clever.
So many year after one can get tired like this but polish women regardless continue to use same thing. Trait i say. Must remain on toes difficult thing.

BzibziohThreads: 6 Posts: 3,657 Joined: Oct 15, 08 ♀ [Suspended]	Mar 19, 11, 00:28 #26
Either your wife is pathologically insecure - in this case you can't help her - or you are not fulfilling her needs, whatever they might be. It's you job to figure it out.

Patrycja19Threads: 79 Posts: 3,974 Joined: Oct 31, 06 ♀	Mar 19, 11, 00:31 #27
well, good luck, glad you have solved the problem. one thing I can say, it doesnt make a happy marriage if you cant relax a little. My husband and I have a strange and wonderful relationship :) He is strange and I am wonderful LOL !!

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	Edited by: pgtx Mar 19, 11, 00:31 #28
maybe she's depressed? have you noticed some other strange behavior beside the one you described? Patrycja19: He is strange and I am wonderful LOL !! lol...ah Pati... ;)

♀

Mar 19, 11, 00:38 #29

pgtx:

lol...ah Pati... ;)

;)

pgtx:

maybe she's depressed?

I was thinking that too..He mentioned how he makes love all the time.

but she prob is feeling lonely and not as confident in herself. so she is blaming him
instead of lookin inside and feeling comfortable with the woman in the mirror.

but then again, we are only getting half the story. I bet if she came in here, it will be another
Jerry Springer saga. :) lol

♂

Mar 19, 11, 00:43 #30

Bzibzioh:

pathologically insecure

thinking similar now
Can be her dear younger sister wth the husband cheated, or friend with mess divorce in 6th year BUT not me i am family man she can know already.
She is the girl. toooo sensitive frm before marriage now recent it spike. PAINFUL intervals, few week later again DOUBTTTTTTTT :( time take hour or max 3 days once with legs weight honest answer as said earlier.

Bzibzioh:

or you are not fulfilling her needs

naaaaa still feel best loving not the case as we enjoy it all smiles

Patrycja19:

He is strange and I am wonderful LOL !!

i know i know

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