My translation of the above advert:
An idea for an advert
Listening to the Sunday morning worship service and watching at the same time TV advert of a bank featuring Gerard Depardieu (the corporate employees, dressed uniformly as in bygone days the communist youth, clapped and played the pre-assigned roles with childlike enthusiasm) I heard the psalm The Lord is my Shepherd. But it sounded a bit different than usual, and it sounded like this:
The Lord is thy sheep herd,
I shall not want.
The Lord is thy sheep herd,
I shall not want.
Puzzled by this different sound, after a while, I thought to myself that this fledgling “psalm” can be used in an advert; the advert of a subversive nature, which would undermine the Church monopoly on religious form, mock corporate obedience, and perversely promote already over-advertised feminism. What’s more, it would boost the buraks' spirits at the expanse of their “betters”. All this with good-natured naivety so people could have fun laughing at themselves.
My idea for an advert is based on the following script:
The first scene: {religious form}
A corporate event. On the stage, uniformly dressed employees of the corporation take part in a typical corporate “worship service” and sing the fledgling “psalm”:
The Lord is thy sheep herd,
I shall not want.
The Lord is thy sheep herd,
I shall not want.
Next the boss speaks:
Blessed is the job you have. By blessing your work you improve your efficiency and increase your enjoyment, and doing your work better you also increase your payment.
But my dears, do not sleep, do not be like a herd of sheep, everyone rushing after rewards. For sheep are dumb, they’re anything but the world's bum.
The second scene: {promoting feminism}
To the boss’s office enters her assistant and praise her excellent speech.
- Excellent speech
The boss in return praises her assistant for good organization, does not, however, fail to point out one mistake.
- Congratulations for organising this wonderful event. But why did they sing about LORD and not about ME?
- What a terrible oversight, next time I will change this for your delight.
- OK. Now, I'm shattered. I'm taking a leave.
The third scene: { boosting the buraks' spirits }
Typical Polish surroundings, cows all around, the boss is driven to her village church in her dazzling silver Rolls-Royce. One can hear the church’s bells and the psalm.
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
After a while she calls her chauffeur and orders him to stop.
- Stop the car.
She runs towards cows and their herdsman. They begin to talk with each other in the most typical burak-like dialect:
- Bronek, how are you?
- I’m driving, as you can see, this awful animals
- Oh! How I envy you, those animals of Warsaw are much more awful.
- The stench and vanity of Warsaw is for me unbearable. Ewwww, I can smell the aroma of that city violets.
- You see. This is the fragrance of my perfume created specially for me.
- Better shit on a potato field than violets in Springfield
And here the introduction to the advert ends and the advert proper begins:
Beware! Do not look for a better world in despair. Ordinary shit you will find here and there.
Delivery on spot, place your orders at the following address. And so on, and so forth… The advertiser not necessarily must be interested in any old shit.
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