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Before 1980 family in Poland was friendly towards immigrants; now they are not

posts: 11

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Aug 23, 10, 13:40 #1

In the 1980s, all of my family in Poland - countless cousins, aunts etc etc, were very friendly towards us from the UK. After the fall of Communism, relationships changed with the new system. In those days, we always brought a carload of bananas, pineapples and other goodies to Poland for them every year; they begged for 'zaproszenie' to work unofficially in the UK, even jostling & pushing each other to be first. These days, a few are still friendly, most distant but casually friendly, and two or three positively hate my guts simply because I don't go to church anymore! This was highlighted last week at my cousin's funeral, where most were pleasant, but those hateful few sat as far away as possible at the 'stypa' and ignored us completely. If I still had something to offer them, such as in the way of easy money, things would definitely change once again. These days, some of them (who now have small businesses thanks to our zaproszenie) wouldn't PiiS on me if I was on fire on Christmas Day!! What's your family like? Better I hope.

A JThreads: 19 Posts: 4,639 Joined: May 21, 10 ♂	Aug 23, 10, 16:33 #2
bimber94: What's your family like? Long story, but they're not like me. :)

monika87Threads: - Posts: 77 Joined: Aug 26, 10 ♀	Edited by: monika87 Sep 7, 10, 22:12 #3
This about church and money is definitive typical Polish! ;-)

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Edited by: Eurola Sep 9, 10, 03:07 #4

That's a pretty sad story. Granted, they don't need you now as they needed you then. I also went through sending packages filled with a variety of goods they asked for.
I stopped doing that for the last 15 years or so, but I still have a great relationship with my family. We keep in touch via Skype or telephone as often as possible. If you don't do that once in while it is easy to get 'disconnected' and become a stranger to your family.

MareGaeaThreads: 45 Posts: 5,527 Joined: Feb 6, 08 ♂	Sep 9, 10, 03:27 #5
bimber94: What's your family like? I call my parents twice a week or they call me a few times per week. We have a rather good contact. They're getting a bit older now, so in a year or 2,3 I will move back to the Netherlands to take care of them. >^..^< M-G (respects and honours his parents deeply)

Chicago PollockThreads: 10 Posts: 638 Joined: Apr 10, 10 ♂	Sep 9, 10, 03:49 #6
Life moves on. Both parties are not the same people anymore.

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Edited by: Eurola Sep 9, 10, 04:00 #7

MareGaea:

I call my parents twice a week or they call me a few times per week

Good man.

A friend of mine is going to Poland for the first time after 20 years. She is so anxious, can't sleep at night and still another week until her departure... Of course she is aware of the changes but did not see her family face to face for so long.
Her mama was here a couple of times, but not the rest of her family.

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07 ♂	Sep 9, 10, 05:13 #8
bimber94: What's your family like? Better I hope. not really although a different set of circumstances. :(

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Edited by: Bolle Sep 9, 10, 10:30 #9

bimber94:

If I still had something to offer them, such as in the way of easy money, things would definitely change once again.

This is precisely why they have turned hostile towards you. Presents have always been expected, especially from family living outside of poland. Not just any presents, but really nice and expensive things. So it's not surprising to me that your family has shunned you when you stopped sending them presents and invites to the UK. This was very typical of poles in the 1990s, not so much now from what i can tell.

mark007Threads: 1 Posts: 74 Joined: Jan 19, 09 ♂	Sep 9, 10, 11:54 #10
shame, but you are the bigger person! and most people in leczna still dress like its 1980, so no changes there!! lol

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07 ♂	Sep 9, 10, 17:51 #11
Bolle: This is precisely why they have turned hostile towards you. Presents have always been expected, especially from family living outside of poland. Not just any presents, but really nice and expensive things. So it's not surprising to me that your family has shunned you when you stopped sending them presents and invites to the UK. that's just stupid.. wtf?

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