Uptight Poles

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Edited by: aphrodisiac May 8, 11, 11:34 #1

I have been here for 7 months and I am beginning to notice that many Poles are so uptight. I was doing shopping and spotted some foreigners. They were loud, relaxed and happy.

I went out with a friend of mine last night to a street festival, she was unhappy about my smoking, told me not to smoke. I told her to relax. She got upset and left, because I would not change my habits for her.

Also the men sitting at the table told her to relax too.

In my opinion it is not her business to tell me not to smoke, which I told her and said that she either accepts me the way I am, or stop hanging out with me. She knows that I smoke.

I find some Polish women so controlling. I guess it is upbringing.

It is not even the smoking, it is the lack of tolerance for people who are different. I think that the happy period has ended for me and I am beginning to notice the lack of social skills of some Poles.

Anyways, back to the street festival, this time by myself:)

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	May 8, 11, 11:48 #2
aphrodisiac: I find some Polish women so controlling. I guess it is upbringing. it happens enough to be noticeable

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	May 8, 11, 11:50 #3
aphrodisiac: that many Poles are so uptight. This is good.Slavs are reversed and do not annoy you. aphrodisiac: I was doing shopping and spotted some foreigners. They were loud, relaxed and happy. The westerners are in your face because they want their presence to be noticed.Here you learn to be quiet.

aphrodisiacThreads: 22 Posts: 3,998 Joined: Apr 15, 09 ♀	May 8, 11, 11:55 #4
southern: The westerners are in your face because they want their presence to be noticed. no, they don't. They are simply relaxed because this is how they behave in their on country. Wroclaw: it happens enough to be noticeable not only that. Some of them are so critical as well. I find it quite annoying.

Bratwurst BoyThreads: 11 Posts: 14,563 Joined: Apr 2, 07 ♂	May 8, 11, 12:00 #5
southern: Slavs are reversed. Isn't that a germanic stereotype?

frdThreads: 8 Posts: 1,956 Joined: Feb 3, 09 ♂	May 8, 11, 12:15 #6
Basing your opinions about Poles on behaviour of one of your friends. Right.

Ashleys mindThreads: 7 Posts: 1,346 Joined: Nov 2, 10 ♀	May 8, 11, 12:19 #7
aphrodisiac: not only that. Some of them are so critical as well. I find it quite annoying. No irony in that sentence... :P Maybe it's the place you live...? You've outgrown it?

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	May 8, 11, 12:21 #8
frd: Basing your opinions about Poles on behaviour of one of your friends. Right. and backed up by others. i was being polite in my first post. some folk are are pain in the ass when it comes to correcting others. some folk have no tact at all.

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	Edited by: southern May 8, 11, 12:23 #9
I wanted to write reserved.Slavs are more reserved.Europeans are generally quieter than Americans except Italians and Spanish who are rather loud.Germans in general want to stand in foreground they want you to feel their presence not ignore them.

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	May 8, 11, 12:27 #10
southern: .Slavs are more reserved. what is reserved about telling someone how to live their life ? ignorant would be a better word.

frdThreads: 8 Posts: 1,956 Joined: Feb 3, 09 ♂	May 8, 11, 12:31 #11
Wroclaw: and backed up by others. Saying "Backed up by others" is just a huge generalization, by mentioning some unmeasureable, imagined amounts as an example. There are as many uptight people in Poland as there are anywhere else. Same with control freaks. It's easy to label people and omit those who act against said idiosynrasy

Pinching PeteThreads: 1 Posts: 1,111 Joined: Feb 23, 08 ♂	May 8, 11, 12:34 #12
southern: Europeans are generally quieter than Americans except Italians and Spanish I've been around some pretty loud British of there.

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	May 8, 11, 12:36 #13
In Slavic countries there are no strict laws imposing certain behaviours it is left on the tact and level of the individual.For example in Germany the rights of the smoker and the non smoker are strictly and detailed defined by the law.

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Edited by: aphrodisiac May 8, 11, 12:37 #14

Wroclaw:

what is reserved about telling someone how to live their life ?

nothing, I find it rude. It seems to me that putting somebody else's life style down make some people feel better about themselves. Well, for a short time anyways. They better look in the mirror.

Wroclaw:

ignorant would be a better word.

yep.

Ashleys mind:

No irony in that sentence... :P

no;)

Ashleys mind:

Maybe it's the place you live...? You've outgrown it?

Well, maybe, but I still think that some Poles should be more relaxed.

frd:

Basing your opinions about Poles on behaviour of one of your friends. Right.

as Wroclaw said: it happens often enough to be a pattern.

gumishuThreads: 17 Posts: 3,943 Joined: Apr 6, 09 ♂	May 8, 11, 12:41 #15
aphrodisiac: Well, maybe, but I still think that some Poles should be more relaxed. if you said 'would be better off relaxed' I would agree thouroughly - btw the Universe supposedly works as a mirror

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	May 8, 11, 12:45 #16
Generally they are right.For example I remember when I first visited Poland the silence annoyed me.I wanted noise as Mediteranean to feel some movement.So I put the speakers up and opened the car window so that music could be heard all over the neighbourhood.My Polka immediately put the music down and closed the window.She explained me that such behaviour is not accepted in Poland.

gumishuThreads: 17 Posts: 3,943 Joined: Apr 6, 09 ♂	May 8, 11, 12:49 #17
btw aphrodisiac - some people can hardly tolerate tobacco smoke (including myself sometimes) - so hmm you could be more thoughtful sometimes too

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Edited by: sledz May 8, 11, 12:54 #18

aphrodisiac:

I have been here for 7 months and I am beginning to notice that many Poles are so uptight.

Tak,tak tak Ironballs is a mental midget:)

aphrodisiac:

I find some Polish women so controlling.

Some guys like to be controlled, to a certain extant ,,lol

Ashleys mind:

Maybe it's the place you live..

I just retuned from a Polish Wedding, all nice people and fun times!!

I cant understand how people like Ironballs gets off talking all his crap about my country, when Im surrounded by all Poles and Ive never heard such derogatory comments?

Hes an embarrassment to his own kind, Im going to start showing this forum to my Polish friends in Chicago ( nobody cares anyway)

I tried several times before, but as you can tell not many Pol_Ams give this forum the time of day:(

3xd	May 8, 11, 13:01 #19
you know for non smoking people the smoke can be really annoying.i'd rather smell **** than cigarette smoke. so if you stood next to her it'd be kind if you asked her if it 's not a problem if you smoke...good manners.

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Edited by: Magdalena May 8, 11, 13:07 #20

First, foreigners come to PL and complain incessantly about the stupid Poles who smoke everywhere and pollute the air those poor foreigners are then forced to breathe. A few years go by. Polish people gradually start seeing smoking as a bad habit and something you should not be doing in close vicinity to others (like during a street festival, I guess). Then, it turns out they are uptight, ignorant, and controlling, because they have the temerity to tell a smoking foreigner that their smoke is not welcome.

MORAL: THE FOREIGNER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

3xd	May 8, 11, 13:17 #21
yeah, this time you are a foreigner, Magdalena.

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	May 8, 11, 13:20 #22
For example signs of freedom in the West also means free farting during dinner,showing your ass to strangers,provocative appearances with tattoos piercings everywhere gays with moustaches kissing in public etc.Also dogs next to your nose,dirty feet upright in train vagons etc.Hopefully these things seldom happen in slavic countries due to a common consesus for the lack of esthetics they contain.

emhaThreads: - Posts: 180 Joined: Nov 24, 10 ♂	May 8, 11, 13:23 #23
she is a faked foreigner :) unable to be relaxed

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	May 8, 11, 13:24 #24
When you drink vodka in Poland you can really relax.

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	May 8, 11, 13:28 #25
Magdalena: Then, it turns out they are uptight, ignorant, and controlling, because they have the temerity to tell a smoking foreigner that their smoke is not welcome. it's not just about smoking. and it's not about foreigners. Maybe put it down to social skills, interacting with others. some Poles are just plain rude.

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May 8, 11, 13:31 #26

southern:

For example signs of freedom in the West

You would welcome all these freedoms, or not, do you have a choice, who provided these freedoms?

You seem, or act like you to enjoy all the extreme pleasures of life,,so you claim?

Ive found out, from experience, the guys who talk a lot,, usually,,well its all talk, I dont believe all your babe stories and perhaps most women probably run from you also,,lol

PennBoyThreads: 157 Posts: 3,443 Joined: Dec 7, 08 ♂	May 8, 11, 13:32 #27
aphrodisiac: I have been here for 7 months and I am beginning to notice that many Poles are so uptight. I was doing shopping and spotted some foreigners. They were loud, relaxed and happy. That's true, if you're relaxed, talkin' to people you don't know goofin' off a little they look at you like you're nuts.

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May 8, 11, 13:39 #28

When i saw the subject of this thread, i was fired up to write and essay but i will keep it very brief. Have been here over 5 years and have dealt with a lot of polish on a number of different fronts, both professionally and personally. I have met some very nice polish people so i dont mean to taint everyone with the same brush. But in day to day life in poland, the polsih are rude and uptight.!!! I am sick of holding the door open for people and there is absolutely no acknowledgement of it by way of a thank you...when someone bumps into you, there is no Sorry...I am very easy going and can look over the occasional rude indivudal but when the rare exception is when someone actually says thank you or Sorry, you know its an issue.

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Edited by: Magdalena May 8, 11, 14:30 #29

Wroclaw:

it's not just about smoking. and it's not about foreigners.

Well, it is in this thread, or at least was.

vndunne:

I am sick of holding the door open for people

Well, don't then. Hold the door for people who care about you and whom you care about, and they will thank you for it. Strangers are exactly that in Polish culture - strangers. If you shower them with attention they don't expect or want, they have the right to not thank you for it.

vndunne:

when someone bumps into you, there is no Sorry

If you were in their way in the first place, you are expected to be doing the apologising. Polish people will not say sorry for someone else's blunder or fault. That's a typically British thing to do. If, however, they were in your way, they will say sorry - and these are probably the "exceptions" you speak of.

MaaarysiaThreads: 3 Posts: 541 Joined: Feb 27, 10 ♀	May 8, 11, 14:36 #30
aphrodisiac: It is not even the smoking, it is the lack of tolerance for people who are different. ??? What are you talking about? That friend of yours was just rude if she told you to put off cigarette. It's too silly situation to make statements about lacking of tolerance... ;DDD

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