Wedding present for Polish friends - how much money should I give?

Linda

Aug 18, 11, 21:05 #1

My Polish friends are getting married in a couple of weeks. They are planning to make a long trip abroad so they are asking money as a wedding present.
My question is: how large an amount would you give if you were me? I have no idea on how much I should give.
They both have really good jobs and earn well. I'm a single woman, live in the Northwestern part of Europe so I earn well compared to the average Polish salaries.
I appreciate every help.

beckskiThreads: 19 Posts: 2,148 Joined: May 15, 07 MEMBER ♀	Aug 18, 11, 21:09 #2
They are planning to make a long trip abroad so they are asking money as a wedding present. The same situation occurred for my cousin's wedding. She had requested funds for their honeymoon trip to Australia, instead of a more traditional wedding gift. My family members and I each gave the bridal couple a hundred dollars. A sincere thanks PF, for putting up with me FIVE terrific years, muah!

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	Aug 18, 11, 21:30 #3
My question is: how large an amount would you give if you were me? I have no idea on how much I should give. it sort of works out that u pay for your meal at the reception and add a little more. plus, it depends how close u are and what u can afford. maybe 400 to 500 zl. that would be from a couple, but probably the same from a single guest. wait for others to reply and give an opinion.

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Aug 18, 11, 23:18 #4

plus, it depends how close u are and what u can afford.

Exactly. Don't feel pressured into giving anything - give them what you think they should get.

I'm of the opinion that asking for money is exceptionally rude - but if you must do it, then I'd give them the same amount of money as you'd spend on a gift. There's no rules for this sort of thing - in fact, anyone demanding a set amount of cash is exceptionally rude.

200zl is more than enough, anyway - especially as it's unlikely that they'll be paying for the wedding themselves.

nunczkaThreads: 17 Posts: 624 Joined: Sep 13, 08 ♂	Aug 19, 11, 01:16 #5
Exactly. Don't feel pressured into giving anything - give them what you think they should get I agree with Delphi. I too think that their request was rude.. You dont owe them anything.. Give what you are comfortable with.

delphiandomineThreads: 42 Posts: 9,954 Joined: Nov 25, 08 ♂ [Suspended]	Aug 19, 11, 01:17 #6
I too think that their request was rude Alas, it's dreadfully common in Poland today to demand money. I've got a golden rule : if someone invites me and demands money, I don't go. (my own wedding mentioned absolutely nothing about presents or money - to demand otherwise is just utterly classless)

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,433 Joined: May 28, 09 ♀	Aug 19, 11, 01:26 #7
It's not rude at all. I ask which is ruder, asking for money or taking every gift back to where it was bought to return it and cash in? These folks are just being practical and newlyweds need cash more than anything else. If you are really close to them and want to stay in their good graces, give more. If they don't mean that much to you, give less.

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Edited by: delphiandomine Aug 19, 11, 01:29 #8

I ask which is ruder, asking for money or taking every gift back to where it was bought to return it and cash in?

Both are unbelievably rude and unthinkable to anyone with any decency whatsoever.

These folks are just being practical and newlyweds need cash more than anything else.

Practical? What's practical about demanding cash? It's rude and absolutely classless. I think it's utterly disgraceful that people judge others on the basis of how much cash they get - it's ridiculous.

Actually - one of the best presents I got was one of the cheapest, but it was so well thought out - and memorable.

The problem is in Poland is that there exists pressure in the society to have a big and lavish wedding - and they need to demand cash in order to pay for it all.

RomanovThreads: 1 Posts: 4 Joined: Aug 18, 11 ♂	Aug 19, 11, 01:49 #9
The big lavish wedding is hardly just a "Polish problem" otherwise pointing people toward or offering them the simple solution of a cash gift is in no way "classless" it saves the buyer time and worry and the reciever the unwanted gift. Unless you live in a class ridden Jane Austin novel that is..

delphiandomineThreads: 42 Posts: 9,954 Joined: Nov 25, 08 ♂ [Suspended]	Aug 19, 11, 03:12 #10
the simple solution of a cash gift is in no way "classless" it saves the buyer time and worry and the reciever the unwanted gift Considering a gift to be "unwanted" is about as classless as it gets.

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,433 Joined: May 28, 09 ♀	Aug 19, 11, 03:17 #11
Usually there's a registry or something with a list of what the couple wants, isn't there? That way gifts are what the couple needs and wants.

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	Aug 19, 11, 04:08 #12
Usually there's a registry or something with a list of what the couple wants, isn't there? That way gifts are what the couple needs and wants. i thought of that... is there a store wedding registry available in Poland yet? i think, in some stores, it could be...?

♂

Edited by: TheMan Aug 19, 11, 04:25 #13

Considering a gift to be "unwanted" is about as classless as it gets.

You might like the sentiment behind a gift, but if you are newly wed in a one-bedroom/studio apartment then a bread maker, a chocolate fountain and 12 punch bowls make less than no sense. As long as there is no set amount and it can be anonymous then I see no problem with it. We are in a recession and I like practical thinking... but I'd just give the cash that was going to go on their present + a little extra (cos the present would've been cheap :P)

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Aug 19, 11, 12:16 #14

AHHH! Gone are the days when that was not a problem.. In the Polish American communities. We had what we called an Apron, Bridal, or money dance. People lined up to dance with the bride donating a donation into an apron held by a Matron. We danced to the tune of Pani Mloda. The danced lasted seconds before another would dance with the bride.As the booze flowed, so did the money.. Life was simple in my day.

Linda

Aug 19, 11, 20:34 #15

Thanks for all the replies.
I think I will give them 250 zl or something like that.
Or I give them 200 zl and buy them some kind of a small present typical for my home country. If I do so they can't tell the exact value of my present.
I would give them more if they were members of my family and not just good friends and just a couple of years younger than I am.
Asking for money is a little bit rude but on the other, I don't know what else I would give if they wouldn't ask for anything. I mean they have a really nice flat, a car, all the things one needs for a household and so on.

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