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My sweet Polish girlfriend's family doesn't want us together


messages: 18
RockyMason
  Nov 20, 07, 20:56  #1

I am new to this forum and came here to learn a bit about polish people. Currently im dating a very sweet polish girl who i love very much but i have run into a few quirks. Her family doesn't want us to b together b/c i am not polish and my family is a bit on the liberal side. They r basically ur typical polski's catholic, dad works construction and mom cleans houses etc..... They r very close with their family everywhere. Somehow they have this delusional idea that im not good enuf and im like a devil b/c my dad is a bit of an outspoken lobbyist which really turned them off when they met him. How can i make them okay with our relationship? How can i get them to like my family more? Y is it they seem to hate my dad and family literally for what he does for a living?

 
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RockyMason
  Nov 20, 07, 22:39  #2

Thread attached on merging:
Hello wondering about polish ppl

I am currently dating a beautiful sweet polish girl but have run into a few complications. Her parents seem to hate my family and she is constantly subjected to criticism b/c im not polish and i come from a very liberal non traditional family. Recently when my parents met hers for the first time it was a bit of nightmare b/c first off they tried to champion poland as being a very gr8 country but my dad is a bit of a argumentative person and as well as a lobbyist so the night ended up with them proclaiming me to b a devil boy or somethin =(. How do i persuade her parents to like me? How can they start hating me just b/c of my parents? Also how to polish ppl feel about freemasons y do they hate us so much? thank u, RCS

 
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lavandul
  Nov 21, 07, 06:51  #3

if you love her, nothing else matters :). some poles are just ... weird. i had the same problem, though i am from Poland. but the same is for people everywhere, some are normal and friendly, others.... well, sing the rest of the song in this matter. ;).think the way that you are lucky, you date and wish to build a family with her not with her parents. does your parents like her?

 
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Crypto
  Nov 21, 07, 07:07  #4

When me and my fiance (Polish) started dating we had the same problem except that my dad (not polish) was against our relationship and it got very ugly. But we stuck it out and today we are engaged and my dad has accepted our relationship. We even got engaged with my fathers consent.

Dont worry if her family doesnt like yours, thats not what relationships should be based upon. Time heals most stuff.

 
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Buddy
  Nov 21, 07, 09:34  #5

Follow you heart and **** everyone else, you're living your lives for you not for them. Remmember Romeo and Juliet...er.maybe not best exaqmple er but still.

 
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MrBubbles
  Nov 21, 07, 09:48  #6

Quoting: RockyMason
my dad is a bit of a argumentative person and as well as a lobbyist


Don't take this the wrong way, Rocky, but maybe your Dad's a dick? Just keep a low profile and the parents will forget about ou being the son of Satan when they realize what a nice guy you are. If your dad wants to hang out with your girlfriend's family, he'll have to learn to moderate his views - which is only common courtesy. If your 'inlaws' still act stupidly then screw them but remember that the Poles are much closer to their families - if you make her choose between you and them it might be difficult...

 
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Aurora
Edited by: Aurora  Nov 21, 07, 10:10  #7

Quoting: lavandul
i had the same problem, though i am from Poland.



Can you tell me, Dear Lavandul, what you mean by that???

 
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Rakky
  Nov 21, 07, 11:17  #8

Quoting: RockyMason
How do i persuade her parents to like me?

Be likable. If the apple didn't fall far from the tree, that may not happen - at least as far as her parents are concerned.
Does your girlfriend still like you? How does she feel about your parents?

 
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southern
  Nov 21, 07, 12:16  #9

Tell them the truth that the gf is still virgin.

 
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Wroclaw
  Nov 21, 07, 13:03  #10

Quoting: RockyMason
Hello wondering about polish ppl


It seems that you got the introductions all wrong. To make life easier both families need to come to a better understanding, but that is now difficult.
If they championed Poland. Why is this a problem ? Aren't we all proud of our roots ?
If your father was arguing. Does that mean he also has doubts ?

Talk to your father first and tell him how he might have fcuked things up.
Talk to your girlfriend and ask her what the best way forward is.
Don't ever mention the Freemasons again.
Be nice to her folks and apologize, if you think you have to.

If the above doesn't work out, you're in for a rough ride.

 
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plk123
  Nov 21, 07, 17:19  #11

Quoting: southern
Tell them the truth that the gf is still virgin.

or just get her pregnant. :D :D

 
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sunnywolf
  Nov 22, 07, 00:40  #12

Quoting: plk123
or just get her pregnant. :D :D


Haha.....
that will better! i did that before,even we are in different countries!

 
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kascol
  Nov 22, 07, 15:11  #13

hi. i am an older english guy in love with a younger polish girl and we recently set up home together. we are so in love that we cant bear to be apart, the problem i have is her mum has warned her to be careful without even giving me the chance to meet her, i am at the moment learning polish through my girlfriend so i can speak to her mother and try to put my feelings across about her daughter and how much i am in love and respect her

 
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lavandul
  Nov 24, 07, 14:17  #14

be a man of good thought, both kascol and rocky mason. someday you will be together with your girlfriends. :)

 
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RockyMason
  Nov 27, 07, 00:37  #15

my parents love my GF just can't stand her family! my family can b a bit stuck up and boistrous at times. Its hard b/c her family is the same way just polar opposite. My family is stuck up b/c we have $ and know ppl... hers is stuck up b/c they have this belief that polish values r the best in the world. They talked to my parents about how i have to do all these polish traditions and blah blah blah told me i need to live near them! They live in a ****** poor ass area though so im not living within 40 miles of there =P. my dad got super pissed when they tried to tell me wat to do with my life since were telling they me wat to do through cup after cup of vodka. My dad got super pissed also b/c they offered my 16 yr old sister a cup of booze. My dad eventually kinda blew up on how poland is basically to europe as mexico is to the USA. How ****** its economy is and how the bay area in cali he lobbys in has more $ than the entire country. I love my GF though im marrying her no matter wat =P. Im a bit worried about marrying in the catholic church though. I was confirmed but now im a mason so.... im not sure how ima have to work that out

 
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plk123
  Nov 27, 07, 00:42  #16

Quoting: Wroclaw
Don't ever mention the Freemasons again.


 
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Polka
  Nov 30, 07, 12:55  #17

Quoting: plk123
Don't ever mention the Freemasons again.

Agreed. To get on the good side with her parents go with them to polish church sunday. Its a no fail. They would accept you then even if you were a ghetto pimp (with a cross around his neck) Good luck it seems like you love here very much.

 
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marekdamski
  Mar 10, 08, 06:20  #18

RockyMason wrote:
I am new to this forum and came here to learn a bit about polish people. Currently im dating a very sweet polish girl who i love very much but i have run into a few quirks. Her family doesn't want us to b together b/c i am not polish and my family is a bit on the liberal side. They r basically ur typical polski's catholic, dad works construction and mom cleans houses etc..... They r very close with their family everywhere. Somehow they have this delusional idea that im not good enuf and im like a devil b/c my dad is a bit of an outspoken lobbyist which really turned them off when they met him. How can i make them okay with our relationship? How can i get them to like my family more? Y is it they seem to hate my dad and family literally for what he does for a living?

sometimes you need to look beyond the love aspect of a relationship.. if they haev issues there must be soem rational.. you dont want to eb one who casues her problems,, her family ahs always been there for her.. families should not be brokern but tied together

 
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