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How to avoid bad tension in workplace Pole in UK/Ireland


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Del boy
Edited by: Del boy  Apr 23, 08, 02:12  #1

Never thought thats happening to me , on daily basis I must deal with constantly ostracism and inteligent slur ( slang words, fast blur talking ) in my workplace. After living over 2 years in anglo speaking country, learning english , reading books, engaging in conversations sometimes I think I am not good enough to give sb good proper riposte so im trying stay calm but my calmness actually give no results or cause bad tension. How long time I have to learn to feel confident and manage converastion when some people trying put me down ( because who I am, what Im representing and so forth )


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Lukasz
Edited by: Lukasz  Apr 23, 08, 02:14  #2

:) It is noticable on this forum as well. When brits are starting losting in conversation they start to use slang and smile to themselves (or much harder to understand version of English language) I think you should accept reality :) or come back home.


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LondonChick
Edited by: LondonChick  Apr 23, 08, 02:19  #3

Del boy:
on daily basis I must deal with constantly ostracism and inteligent slur


Sorry to hear about this, mate. I am sure that it is not intentional - especially if they are otherwise a friendly bunch of people. Tough it out - a friend of mine from Russia came to London about 6 years ago, and since that time, her English has improved very quickly.

Lukasz:
When brits are starting losting in conversation they start to use slang and smile to themselfs.


Maybe this is true, but I found exactly the same when I was living and working in Germany and Italy, getting to grips with German / Italian.


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Del boy
  Apr 23, 08, 03:01  #4

LondonChick:
a friend of mine from Russia came to London about 6 years ago, and since that time, her English has improved very quickly


right, all depends probably what skills you've got and workplace where u have to work ( funny innit :) ). Im sociologist with good grasp of anthropology and social science but ( there is always but ...) without proper english, ( :( ) so my knowledge is useless here.
I work in ordinady place with ordinary people ( what a shame :)?! )
Any clue why I am so disrespectfull for my workmates ( they dont know about my Degree of Master of Art but they see me on lunch time with a thick book, all the time )?


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LondonChick
  Apr 23, 08, 03:13  #5

I don't know your background, where you come from or what you do, or even what kind of place you work in, but maybe they see you reading a thick book and think that you are a bit of an introvert?

Can you round them up for beers after work? Maybe there is one or two that you get on well with, so might want to ask out for coffee one lunchtime?

Is there any banter in your office? "Hey who was watching the Apprentice last night?" or "OMG, Ken is such a plonker - I'm backing Borris in the elections" Ok, this probably seems a little banal, but you never know what happens once you break the ice....


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Del boy
Edited by: Del boy  Apr 23, 08, 03:32  #6

dont go to far with Apprentice :)
focus on working with people where you have to work , sometimes there is no one who is compatibile after couple nights out just because you are diferent and thats it.
Anyway I know that I am in wrong place but because of reality I have to work there because I have to, no choice now.
Anyway bad tension Am I a problem?


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LondonChick
Edited by: LondonChick  Apr 23, 08, 03:44  #7

Aww come on - Apprentice is great - those candidates are a bunch of clowns!!

No, I don't think that you're a problem - you maybe just need to lighten the mood a little and break some ice. Your colleagues don't need to be your best buddies for life, but it makes life sweeter if you can have a laugh with them.

Break the ice - no idea where you come from, but I am guessing Poland. Get a big bag of those cow toffees and take them into the office - offer them around. Have any of them ever visited Poland? What did they think? Anyone planning to go there any time soon? Teach them they papaya dance....


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Del boy
Edited by: Del boy  Apr 23, 08, 03:56  #8

It is not simple like you think, they are not a bunch of people like u imagine, they are people with really good skills but they are focus on ONLY ( ONLY ) UK, USA, Germany meaby some on France and Italy and of course Japan but Poland? no way cheap beer, girls, nice shag thats what they want to talk abou. Prague Cracow Budapest ou yeee nice shag and end of story

Your colleagues don't need to be your best buddies for life, but it makes life sweeter if you can have a laugh with them.

epicureism????


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Arise_St_George
Edited by: Arise_St_George  Apr 23, 08, 05:06  #9

Del boy:
right, all depends probably what skills you've got and workplace where u have to work ( funny innit :) ). Im sociologist with good grasp of anthropology and social science but ( there is always but ...) without proper english, ( :( ) so my knowledge is useless here.
I work in ordinady place with ordinary people ( what a shame :)?! )
Any clue why I am so disrespectfull for my workmates ( they dont know about my Degree of Master of Art but they see me on lunch time with a thick book, all the time )?


I know it may sound stupid but SOME people look at people that cannot speak perfect English as "thick/dumb." SOME people will walk all over these people, they'll giggle, they'll put the blame on you. It's only a minority of people and funnily enough sometimes the area that you are working in is a big factor. The Polish in Nottingham will not get anything like that. Whereas in Blackpool Polish people, always the men not the women, will receive tension.

It's a minority of people in certain cities/towns of Britain. Your English DOES improve IF you are around English speaking people. You pick up on it quick. I used to speak to one Polish guy in Nottingham. He said I spoke too fast and he couldn't understand. Eventually after a few months, he got the grip of it. He mingled in WITH the English.


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Kilkline
  Apr 23, 08, 05:27  #10

Lukasz:
:) It is noticable on this forum as well. When brits are starting losting in conversation they start to use slang and smile to themselves (or much harder to understand version of English language)


Slang is a part of every language and you dont realise you're using it even when not 'losting' in conversation.
Theres plenty of words that Brits use that American would consider unnecessary slang which to a Brit are everyday words e.g. fortnight, dodgy etc. I know that as a Midlander I use words in London that people dont always know what I mean even though I thought the word was in national usage but obviously isnt e.g. yampy to describe something/someone whose a bit mad.

I think part of Del Boy's problem might be the problem which alot of foreigners have in Britain and that is the fact that sometimes the humour between people can sound a bit severe and insulting. It isnt intended (mostly) to be offensive but more to test your abilities to laugh at yourself and to be able to comeback with something and not just sit there dwelling on it. I've met some foreigners who never get used to it, and others who eventually grow to love it.


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Arise_St_George
  Apr 23, 08, 05:58  #11

Kilkline:
fortnight


Now I didn't know THAT was slang @.@


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miranda
Edited by: miranda  Apr 23, 08, 06:10  #12

Del boy:
Im sociologist with good grasp of anthropology and social science but

then use that knowledge to figure out how to get along with them. You probably studied group behaviours etc, so why don't you make your work place a ground for implementing what you have studied and that could change things around. You cannot tell them what you are doing. If you have to stay at this job, then you need to make friends with those people, regardless how silly their topics are. It is survival I guess.Then, on teh other hand, they are not that differetn than you, they must have some problems, like all humans do. The more you resist, the more it persists.
Or better yet. Ask them to correct your English. It will make them feel that they can help you. I find that most people love to help when they are asked. It makes them important and they feel validated and you will be getting free English lessons. I personally find slang fascinated and many years ago I was travelling on the train with a man, who was obvioulsy using a differetn type of language and I was fascinated. I pulled out my stickies and when we were talking, I was making notes. Ho was so happy and we had a great time while travelling and he was sorry I had to leave, because I showed him that his language (mix of really bad Polish, jail slang ) is a way of communication. What a great sociology project. We were form 2 differetnt worlds but we had things in common, as most people really do. The rest of the passangers were appaled at my approach but I though that he was th emost interestign person of them all.
Besides, Ireland has such a great history/music/ culture. Why not expend the knowlwdge while talking to them.
Ehem. a thick book brough to work is not an ice breaker. Bring similar reading material to what they read:)

Good luck.


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Kilkline
  Apr 23, 08, 06:17  #13

miranda:
I pulled out my stickies


An example of slang? If it is then I'm not surprised that an ex-prisoner was so keen to talk to you. :)


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miranda
  Apr 23, 08, 06:21  #14

Kilkline:
An example of slang?

not that I am aware of it:) Is it a slang in English? LOL


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Kilkline
  Apr 23, 08, 06:23  #15

miranda:
not that I am aware of it:) Is it a slang in English? LOL


If it isnt then it should be. Not sure if it should be plural or singular though.


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miranda
Edited by: miranda  Apr 23, 08, 06:28  #16

Kilkline:
Not sure if it should be plural or singular though.

I checked it and it appears that you can say: sticky notes, or stickies (noun). He was a speaker of Polish, so he didn't know the English slang.


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isthatu2
  Apr 23, 08, 08:26  #17

Ok,first things first;
You spend your lunch break with your head buried in a "thick book",right,that points you out,true or not,as someone who doesnt want to make any effort getting along with your co workers.
Fast talking/slang....comeon mate,your in NI,they all talk like that :)
Last but not least,are you sure your working in the right part of town? Im always amazed by the stories of ignorence concerning Poles that moved to NI...how many turned up in areas with orange kerbs and then moaned that they were not made welcome etc etc....


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IronsE11
  Apr 23, 08, 08:34  #18

isthatu2:
how many turned up in areas with orange kerbs and then moaned that they were not made welcome etc etc....


It's all a little sad really. That's why a more multicultural place like London would perhaps be better.

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