Traits of my Polish boy (I'm an American girl)

Hello all! I am a 23 year old american girl who has been dating a polish man for about two months, and he is very dear to me. We are complete and total opposites in every way... he is serious and stern, I am easy going and carefree... he is logical and I am abstract... he is into business and current affairs where I am into art and literature. Even though we disagree on... pretty much everything, I think it is wonderful how we always accept our differences and we always come out of our diagreements with smiles on our faces. Anyway, I would love to learn about his culture and how it affects a polish male/american female relationship dynamic. I know it is unfair to generalize, but lets cut the politically correct crap here for just a second. What are the differences between Polish and American men? I've noticed he is very brash... when we go out to eat, I think he treats the waiters rather rude. When I tell him that he should be nicer to people, he seems genuinely confused and says "but I *was* being nice!" (remind me to never get on his bad side! hee hee). He is wonderfully chivalrous, such as always opening doors for me, and just putting me before himself in general. He is exceptionally stubborn, and once he gets that idea in his head there is just no talking sense into him (but maybe thats not so much of a Polish thing as a male thing.) Are these traits typical of Poles or am I dating the oddball? I am very interested to hear your insights into the mind of the Polish male, and how do they view women and relationships? Thanks much!

Hi Cherry,

It's nice to read such letters like yours. I'm a Polish man and I used to date an American girl when I was about 25. But unlike you, we were sort of similar - we both were "serious and stern" and we agreed on most things. We were even going to get married, but the distance between us eventually killed the relationship (she was finishing her college in NY and I was starting mine in Chicago).

I think Polish men are in general more "mature" than their American peers; while American men often tend to act like children until their old days, Polish guys take life and relationship more seriously. I, for example, dated only two girls by the age of 25 (an American guy at the same age would have "tried out" dozens of different girls).

I don't know his background, but his being brush may be because he wants to show he is "tough" (when in fact he may be romantic). Also, he may still think a little strange and "worse" than his American peers (eg. he may not have as nice car as they have, he may not have family/friends here).

I ended up marrying a Polish girl and I'm happy, but sometimes I think about my American date too .

Aug 21 2006, 20:50 - Topic attached on merging: What kind of girls do Polish men like

would a polish guy date an american girl

Sure, why not? Try to be romantic, don't wear pants all the time, don't eat too much junk food then you'll be fine.. .

You couldn't of have said it any better.

I am also an American girl dating a Polish guy. We are also very different. I think culturally that we are very different and brought up in very different ways. He is also stubborn and I have noticed the same thing with the behavior towards the staff at restaurants. He is also very brazen with his comments and will say them loud enough for the person or persons he is talking about to here him. In many ways he comes across as being rude to the typical American but after being around him for almost a year now I realize that he means no harm. I actually have come to find his social foibles (in America) to be innocently charming. The sad thing about our relationship is that he will soon leave to go back to Poland. He is very homesick and all his family is there. I am also close to my family here in America so I don't think I could leave my family either. I can't blame him for wanting to go home because I know I'd feel the same way. In one way I am happy for him because I know he is going back to where he feels he belongs and on the other hand I wish he'd stay.........but I know that is just a selfish thought. I wish there were a way this could work. I know he feels the same way. He always says that it's too bad we were born in different countries and I always respond with at least we were born on the same planet! haha