Welcome to the UK, passport please....

OK, so you’ve arrived in the UK. In all probability your English is probably better than ours already. You probably pronounce the letter H – you say Hotel not ‘Otel. You can decline verbs properly. You use the correct tenses. All well and good but you are not going to find it easy to converse with most of us without a detailed and intimate knowledge of ‘real’ English, those quaint words that you will never find in most dictionaries. This thread is intended to provide a tongue in cheek guide to some of our more esoteric language. Be warned gentle reader that this is not going to be an easy journey. Every area of England has its own variants. And if you are heading for Scotland or Wales it is going to be harder still.

Lesson 1 – Comments upon your physical attractiveness

Let’s face it we all need someone in our lives, but sometimes you will not be described in the Queens English. ‘I find you very attractive’ may be OK for that phrase book but you are more likely to be described in one of the following (positive) ways:

• Totty (hot totty is better still)
• Crumpet (not if you are a man)
• Talent
• Drop Dead Gorgeous
• Nice piece of skirt (females only)
• Drink on a stick
• Dish (or dishy)

If, on the other hand, any of the following terms are used you may feel free to let loose a volley of abuse in response as they are not so complimentary:

• Dog
• Bint
• Bus (as in face like the back of one)

Other terms you may overhear include target rich environment (there are many attractive people in this place and I’m raring to go).

Lesson 2 – I have imbibed a tad too much alcohol and am a little the worse for wear

Variants include:

• Tipsy (a little drunk)
• P****d (note the subtle variation from US English)
• Slaughtered (very drunk)
• Legless (very,very drunk)
• Tired and emotional
• Blotto
• Kaiboshed
• Blitzed
• Merry (same as tipsy)

Come on you Brits or longer term Polish residents, help out the newbies with some more gems.

Bladdered (extremely drunk)


Ugly person - nice body

BOBFOC - body off baywatch face off crimewatch


Very looking guy / women

Bit of all right

Munter
Minger

How often do do you use these words ?

I heard some of them but not all. With p....d I am always confused p...off and p...up I think one is drunk and one is angry I always mix them.

And one more.... You like asking somtimes ( my manager does it) Are you happy? I was confused first time. IN English I understand it as "are yo glad , content" in Polish we don't ask it very often, mainly ask close friends and we mean it exactly in the deep meaning of being "happy".....

It all depends where you live really. P**s off means go away (i.e you're angry) whereas P**s up is a drinking session. Confusing eh? P****d is drunk.

You are right that are you happy when used in general conversation is just a way of being polite in an introduction. Content is a very good intepretation. When used with a good friend or relatve it would be asking about the deeper well being of that person. The way the question is said is the key difference, tone, sincerity etc

I also I think a Manager would ask "are you happy" its a way of asking are you okay at work, is everything okay, maybe because you are Polish she/he feels the need to check more often, probably for reasurance that you are not going to leave your job...which is an inication that she/he likes you and thinks you are good at your job...IMHO

All those drinking ones, made me thing of one of my faves:

knackered = very tired, worn out

It's so appropriate somehow. Fits the feeling well.

This reminds me of people saying "are you alright?" in Ireland. At first, I kept wondering what in the world seemed so wrong with me! Did I look nauseated or something?

Oh, reminds me of my embarassing misunderstanding of "to chat up" = to try to pick someone up. I thought it was just normal "chatting". I told someone that "I really enjoyed chatting them up"

Two countries divided by a common language

Now don't laugh at me..my hubby says that I'm out of touch with the world and very naive

A few years ago, I met a man that I had known as a boy. I haven't seem him in many
years and while talking with him, he mentioned something about "His Partner" ROFLOL
I asked him what kind of business he was in with his partner..My girlfriend punched me
in my ribs and whispers..don't you know what "A Partner is?"... I was so embarrassed
and didn't know what to say..Thankfully he didn't respond..pretended not to hear me.

Oh God, Mrs KB, It's an easy mistake to make....lol...that did make me laugh...orrrr you're such a sweety

As for the "are you alright" comment thats quite usual in conversation...not a pick up line..

Oops, that was confusing how I combined the two. I got that. Although that would have been really funny... I'd have been thinking everyone was hitting on me. The Irish are an attractive bunch, so maybe dangerous too.

They are and a lot forget that, the dark hair and green eyes....Im glad that some one appreciates that look...pat on the back to ya...

Girls, this international flirting has to stop.............its very embarassing when I next have to respond to one of you........in some thread/debate....remember..Irish men have feelings too....

PS Being objectified once in a while is ok, but not by every girl you come across on a message board......




PPSS Am only yanking your chain.......must go back to my natural, blonde hair colour and take the tinted lenses out.....

Frank, you are needed on "post ya pic" thread, very amusing at the moment!