ARE YOU MARRIED OR JUST SAYING THAT?

I have a question related to Polish people in relationships. I have come across many who say they are married but in reality it's not a "legal" union. I understand being committed to one person, but my question is, if you are saying you are married, then why not make it legal? No judgement here, I'm just very curious? Why not say it's your "partner" or "life partner"? I have a Polish friend that had a "fiance" but has decided to be with someone else----don't think there was ever an actual engagement----so why not just say he had a "girlfriend"? Seems the terms are used very loosely, IMHO. I think that's why there's such confusion about cultural differences and relationships. What are your thoughts, people?

We've been around for some time ... ... I hope you can guess my thoughts on it!

See... there are many kinds of people in Poland. Still marriage is the most revearved and respected institution here. Maybe less in the big cities and among expatriate Poles... but in the internal Poland, it is still very important.

Those who dont have self belief...are pleagued by confused relationships like 'live togethers' and also 'racism', 'extremism'...etc. Just they want to run away from reality... in whichever face it is.

Maybe the background...maybe too much want... confusion all around... no confidence...

ITS not the Polish lifestyle. Its just some people who have this as their lifestyle. These people exist everywhere (perhaps alot more in the west).

Hope this answers your question .

I once saw your picture...I think you are a beautiful lady!... Choose wisely, live well.

I'll not go to bed with a girl till I rightfully MARRY her infront of the world, and accept my responsibilities and commit myself to her. Have my parents and her parents present and in agreement in the occassion. AND ALL THIS with her being of another RACE!

Because I am confident.... After God, in myself...and her.

I'll not go to bed with a girl till I rightfully MARRY

crikey...thats er...traditional. What about pressing all the honies whilst you are young?

But if thats what you want fair enough.

I find that as wise. It is a modern idea in my view... ancient ways of life had lack of understanding. They had less morality. Modern view is more equipped and will keep getting better with time.

I am not the only one who has this view. As I once wrote ... we have a few worlds in the same neighbourhood ... and we dont know about each others existance even

I believe in this, too, waiting until marriage.

How is life?... you have any love story ... everyone here have one ... I am sure you do too!


So whats YOUR opinion ... got anything to say??

And how's that working out for ya so far, Shewolf?

It's sheer misery.

Yes, but nothing at the moment.

I think I stated my confusion.....as for what other people do in there relationships, it's none of my business....the reason I brought all of this up is because I know someone who uses the terms "marriage" and "fiance" litely. I for one don't....I take things like that literally. To me, and this is just my opinion that I base on my friend's actions....but I think a lot of people use the terms to appease their partners, but in reality, it's a way of biding time, since the person doesn't really know what they want. They want to keep their current partners as a safety net, so to speak, just in case nothing better comes along. Again, this is just my opinion, and I'm not saying everyone is like that. That's why I wanted to hear from those who say they are "married" or "engaged" but legally are not. I want their perspective on the situation.

Thank you.....I try to choose wisely and live as well as possible.....don't always succeed but I do try.

very good opinion

I think it shows character, strong will, confident in knowing what you want, a strong heart, being aware of your responsibilties and having self respect.

So you can be proud of that.

Let other people be other people, if they see things different and that's alright for them then it's alright for me. But yeah, it's like you've said.. I can confirm that in my country, almost no one thinks like this anymore.

So I think what shewolf means. Hey, and something else.. shewolf made a few comments which made me wonder who shewolf really is. Am I right shewolf? Or should
I say Sandra, Shirley or something in that variety?

I really have no idea though..

A girl like you disappointed.... and there was shopgirl disappointed too!!!....why???

See... you must believe you are someones dreamgirl! And then you have the world

You are beautiful!...go ahead...hold someones hand who would be the happiest to hold yours. Be brave to do so... and see what comes!... you tried everything....why not this?

I believe in Live and Let Life very firmly my friend ... and there are many people like me.... we live in our world

No, sorry, it's not me. My name is different than that. Was there someone else on the forum who said the same things as me?

Hehe.. No, don't worry! It's just that when you made a joke yesterday, you seemed to know about something and it sounded as if you knew exactly.

Or is that complicated? It's alright dear, nevermind.

women tend to fall in love with men who don't feel as passionate about them or who are already with someone else, or men who are just too young.

Really? That's weird. Was it the 5 Word Story?

Very likely.

That makes sense. I tend to use the things that people said on other threads in the 5 Word Story. Did it freak you out?

Nope, not at all. Just made me wonder..

By this I meant that I'm not perfect (nor do I want to be) but I try as best I can.


Not dissapointed in any relationship I have ever had.....not to say there haven't been disappointments within the relationships, but I value every relationship I have ever been in.....even the ones that caused the most pain, they were my greatest teachers....I walked away with something from each and therefore believe they were just stepping stones to prepare me for what lies ahead

why walk on thorny ground...

Because that's how I attain growth in life....I wasn't born with all the answers in my conscience, therefore I need to live life in order to learn and grow towards something better (unfortunately, when things are going good in life, I'm not learning much because I like the way things are at the moment and don't want it to change)......as much as I would love to have all the answers, I think experiencing life and the different people that enter into my own are what makes it interesting and worth it in the first place. Don't know if that answers your question, but I hope so.

LS, it is important for you to know, that there was also a tremendous degree of compatibility in my relationship, and a lot of love and caring....in fact there still is, even though we are apart. We will always be friends, and we will always care for each other. He has even told me that sometimes he misses being married to me, even though we both know that the marriage is finished.

When you are entering a relationship you take a risk....
The more you know going in, the better decision you can make about whether there is enough "positives" to outweigh the risks....
don't you think?

I think choice must be made wisely... keeping a long life in view. And parents should be brought into confidence. Even if they are not confident...if you are confident and they are confident in you....then you can assure them! And it tests your logic for the relationship aswell.

of course...

but dont sell yourself short for fear of taking a risk...

Oh I've taken all the calculated risks ... and going smoothly still ...